Really haven’t had the gumption or self reflection to want to sit down and write something that I find meaningful. Which are the things I want to post on this website for the most part. My last poem did enough for some time.
I do however find other ways to continuously write and one of them is watching & reviewing film. Recently I have been introduced to letterboxd.com and have created an account. If you have interest in any writing I may be doing in between things that get posted here then that would be the place to go.
Megan and I often watch a new movie together every day so the profile will be updated regularly with films I watch or re-watch. This is a way for me to keep myself motivated about writing without bogging my site down with things like movie reviews.
We have a lot of movies and the collection is growing every day, it is one of my very favorite forms of art & media. A form that my grandfather really spent a lot of time nurturing within me.
If you have interest in my thoughts and writing in general you may like this letterboxd profile.
Been awhile since I have posted anything. I have started a number of works but just haven’t finished. Been focused on work and other things. Did want to make a quick little post just to say that I am okay and things are going well for me. I just haven’t been using my free time to sit down and write — and I haven’t been heavily inspired as to push me towards it in a bit. That’s life though, I will feel the need to put down words or finish one of my drafts soon. I can feel it.
In the meantime, though — I wanted to post something a little different. One of my friends has been working on his own YouTube channel about all things geek for the last couple of years. Over the last six months or so him and I had been in talks about a new show for his channel about comic books. I absolutely love comic books and so was intrigued by the idea.
Fast forward to yesterday and the very first episode of Zero Issue dropped. It’s an episode about where to get into Batman if you have any interest and there’s a little bit of a book club discussion.
I really enjoyed myself and enjoy being a part of this channel that just wants to celebrate geek culture and the interests involved with it. So, check out the video below if you have interest and let me know what you think!
March of 2008, my Grandfather died. This is the first loss I truly felt of someone who I had known throughout my entire life, extremely closely. I had lost others but this was the most impactful for me, expected or otherwise in my life — at that time.
Not the least of which because I was at a “job fair” with some friends and got the phone call while there. I raced home to see my grandfather lying face-up, dead, on the kitchen floor. All the same things he was usually wearing. Glasses, pocket protector, plaid shirt, jeans, velcro shoes, and his belt.
There’s a story that is going to be written about that belt. Suffice it to say I took it off his still warm corpse and I am wearing it as I type this out. There’s a lot more to it than that, though. Unfortunately. That, however, is for another day.
This poem is what I wrote about my Grandfather and shared at his wake. It still makes me emotional.
the History Channel,
and a three hour conversation that came from saying you wanted cheese on your burger.
Some of the best memories in my life involve that man.
He will be held in my hand,
heard in my voice,
worn on my waist,
and seen in my pupils.
When I look at that pink building, Gramps.
I’ll hear you, just like I can hear you hollerin’ as I open some pudding.
And I’ll remember,
one of the best men I knew, was proud of me.
This is something I wrote on my birthday, October 24th, in 2015. This was just six days beyond the passing my first cousin Paul, who shared my birthday with me and was exactly two years younger than me. It is also the day of his funeral.
He has been gone more than a year now, but I am still gripped by immense loss at times. I shared this both at the wake, and at Paul’s Viking funeral as well. Myself, Paul’s brother Kevin, and many of his friends built a Viking boat and burned it on the lake where Paul grew up.
It was something I know he would have loved.
Anyways, without further ado:
Eulogy for Paul (Birthday Buddy)
Hello, I am Trevor, and I am Paul’s cousin on his Mother’s side. Today is our birthday, and I feel a particular sadness — a vortex of misery and emptiness without my birthday buddy.
Paul Allen Perkins was one of the most genuine, kind, and thoughtful people we have ever had the pleasure to love in our lives. With all of us together, it has been wonderful to share stories about how helpful he was; how it all came straight from the heart.
There is too much to say, and Paul meant too much as a person to be able to appropriately use words to describe his impact on those around him.
Paul had a demeanor – a smile. One that could and would light up a room. You would have to experience it to understand it. I appreciate so much that we all have the ability to share knowing that feeling together.
Paul was an eagle scout, a craftsman, a mechanic, a metal head, a ladies man, and a loyal and true friend. Unfortunately there isn’t enough time to list off all the adjectives to describe Paul.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. How do you quantify a life? To say it is precious is almost an insult, there is nowhere near a powerful enough word to describe its worth.
We all are extremely lucky to have had every little moment we had in the life of Paul Perkins. It was not long, no. Tragically short – but it was full of love, laughter, adventure, and adrenaline. Paul took “live your life to the fullest” literally and never looked back. We can all take solace in the fact that Paul passed as a happy man.
This… emptiness we all feel. This lack of understanding and inability at times to process a loss of this nature is a good thing. It may be odd to say that, or hear it – but it means that what Paul left behind is many good memories. He will be greatly missed and never forgotten.
Another aspect of our beloved Paul that we can celebrate is that we got to watch him transform from the innocent little boy who refused to grow up – into the assertive, passionate man he became. Paul had recently really discovered purpose in his life and was making steps to realize his dreams. As a young man, that is an incredibly important and wonderful step in life to take. We all have a window into Paul’s possibilities and they were endless. He was truly one of a kind.
I am so sorry to say that the world lost one of its best and brightest. We all must come to terms with that fact. And we have a long road ahead.
Happy Birthday Paul, we love you and miss you so much.