Posted on by Trevor Elms

Shrinking Doubts.

This was written April 18th, 2009. I’m not entirely sure what decision I was writing about here, but I know it was one that I took that changed my life forever. It probably had to do with my budding relationship at the time as I used to use that for inspiration.

Shrinking Doubts.

So I teeter here,
at the edge of an endless cliff.

Toes, dangling ever so dangerously off the edge.
Every day, the place I stand dwindles down,
crumb by crumb.
Bringing the imminent plunge nearer by the minute.

I could leap in blind faith…
But it’s apprehension, uncertainty, and fear, that stills my fall.
Unfortunately,
it will only last so long.
Eventually, my fortress will crumble.

And the descent I would face?

Well, fate holds all the cards at that point.

©2009 Trevor Elms
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What’s Fair?

Written February 19th, 2009. This was not long after my mental break with reality and subsequent legal difficulties. Again, powerful for me to see where my head was at that time. It seems I was determined to learn from my mistakes and I am very happy that I did.

What’s Fair?

I’ve been told life isn’t fair.

Events have passed that seemingly?
Prove this theory with unbridled flair.
But,
I’ve also been told that suffering is a fraction of the path.
It’s overcoming these hurdles,
that sows greener grass.

Every waking moment reaps:
Torment
Agony
Fright
Wrath
All over what goes bump the night.

Hopefully?
The future I see when my eyelids shut,
stays a nightmare.

Losing one’s mind is not as fun as some think.
When I hear “Jinglebells”
It wanders to that incessant clink.

When reality is spun to creativity’s dimension.

Friends become foes,
words become sentences,
places… worlds.

When reality is spun to creativity’s dementia.

Living in fear it could all repeat now and between,
the night dreams became reality
and reality?
A dream.
Tormented forever.

And I’m only nineteen.

©2009 — Trevor Elms
Featured photo taken by Trevor Elms ©2009.
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Out.

A rhyme I wrote on October 26th, 2009.

If I remember correctly this is about me reflecting on a checkered past that wasn’t so much in the past at that point. I was dealing with the repercussions of some unsavory choices and had to learn some hard truths about life.

I’m glad to know that I had this viewpoint back then, because I am uncertain that I would be here now without it. I think the start was honestly that I really just liked the first line, and still do, a lot.

Out.

An invisible dirigible indivisible by fractions of time,
walked the walk and crossed the line.

Define what it is that wades in the wasted mind —
committed crimes and fined a kind toll,
Feels special to be out instead of in like a mole.

What’s it to the crow analyzing, interpreting, picking apart the soul?
Can you pick it up and re-mold the dough?
Take it bold and slow,
flow the strings together and carefully sew.
Care carnivorously,
Possibly persevere,
Desire the farther or could be near.

Suffer through the fear, it ain’t a problem.
Look at you, you got a job son.
It’s a fissure, nah it’s a crack,
Look into yourself,
Black?
No it’s blue, you got the style of a pure man through and through.
Bullshit doesn’t touch those with a plan,
Look at you son, today you’re a man.

An invisible dirigible indivisible by fractions of time,
walked the walk and crossed the line.

©2009 Trevor Elms
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Bus Stop.

I wrote this with another piece I no longer respect as much in August 2008.

Bus Stop.

I used to walk this street every morning.
The long slow wind down my parent’s street to the bus stop.
In the spring the crab apples would fall to the ground,
They’d get all squished and I’d step over them.
Something about a flattened, oozing, crap apple – never invited my foot.
And now I sit here,
On this exact spot I would stand.
It has an energy,
this place.
I feel a comfort here,
It may be because I spent every morning watching the sun rise before I got to school
On this
Exact spot.
I wish I had actually appreciated that sight back then.
During the winter, before everyone turned off their water sprinklers,
Water would run down my street and gather in a shallow pool at the bottom.
By morning it would all freeze in a thin sheet.
I’d rush to the bus stop before everyone else!
Just so I could break all the ice on my own.
It had the most gorgeous texture to it,
Sometimes different shades of white would be bursting in shattered lines all across it.
The crunch the ice made when my foot made contact, was extraordinary.
It echoed within my eardrums in a soft light crinkle.
I appreciate many of the odd little things I would do for self-satisfaction when I was younger.

Curiosity is a great door to adventure…

©2008 Trevor Elms